As teachers, we need to build positive relationships with our pupils so that reaching out to them is easier. Similarly as people developers, we should also build positive relationships with those under our care and development.
I am confident to say that I have been able to build good relationships with most of the teachers in my department. I am also glad to feel some improvement in the relationship with one of them as I have been getting more positive responses from this teacher. Let me call this teacher, A. I have been the people developer for Teacher A since the day I head the department and Teacher A is quite an experienced teacher considering the number of teaching years in the school. Teacher A has been feeling very down and uninspired due to some reasons that I will not mention here. Whenever I attended courses on developing and coaching people, Teacher A was always part of my learning intention or aim that I wished I could find a solution to help and motivate Teacher A. It was difficult for me to understand why Teacher A behaved negatively in most school stuff and had so much resentment. I felt helpless and that all the courses on developing and coaching people did not really give me the answers I was looking for. I always felt a big barrier between Teacher A and me. Maybe this is because Teacher A refused to open up to me and thus made it harder for me.
Two years ago, one particular incident made me almost gave up as the people developer for Teacher A but was encouraged by P and a close colleague to give another try. I had a heart to heart talk to Teacher A regarding the incident. After that talk, things were a bit better between us last year. This year, I see more improvements as Teacher A will come to me personally more often with new plans and ideas for the department. I also sense that the barrier between us has somehow became thinner and I have more confidence and hope that things will get even better as I try my best to give Teacher A the support and listening ear needed.
As shared by my new VP on strategies in dealing with difficult behaviours:
1. Emphasise appraisee’s potential and capabilities;
2. Motivate the appraisee by recognizing his contributions;
3. Do not be overly directive;
4. Make the appraisee feel appreciated by emphasizing his ability;
5. Coach the appraisee frequently to improve motivation.
I feel that things got better because I have tried to emphasise Teacher A’s potential and capabilities and also recognize the contributions made by Teacher A. Of course most importantly as PDs, we must try to understand the people we are developing as much as possible, their characters, their behaviours and the way they work. I do not fully understand Teacher A yet but at least after having been working with Teacher A for so many years, I have more or less know the working style of Teacher A, the strengths and weaknesses of Teacher A. Teachers are grown ups and all grown ups like to feel appreciated and respected. This is a belief that I have set as a foundation for me to develop and motivate all those under me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
This is certainly a great, if not the greatest, achievement in your role as a leader. We often measure ourselves by the success we have with the most challenging assignments.
Reading your reflection on this episode with Teacher A, it dawned upon me that you had been doing the actions you listed in the later part of your reflection even before the can in behaviour of Teacher A. And the change in her response came after your direct address of that critical incident.
Thus, it has led me to believe what caused the change is not the list of actions but rather what transpired in your conversation with her regarding that incident. Try tracing that conversation, what was your belief or assumptions, approach, questions asked, tone of voice, location, physical setting, words used, etc. I am currently reading Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson (in between some other books) and I believe that you have hit the right crucial conversation that helped turned around the relationship.
Keep up the great work in developing your team of people and persevere in even the most challenging ones. Well done!
You are right. It was the conversation which turned things around. But I find it a bit tough to pen it down as I was worried of revealing too much information online. I will try to pen down generally what was in that conversation in my next reflection.
Thanks for the advice and encouragement.
Post a Comment